A Boy Named Sue

The following was inspired by social critics such as Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and Bill Maher, comedians who use(d) satire to harpoon the ridiculous status quo.

Hi, my name is Fragile Sue, and I’m a 4 year old ideologue snowflake princess. At least, that’s what I want to identify as. (In the next lunar cycle it may be a 90 year old non-binary Down’s Syndrome basement-dwelling sorcerer, but I digress.) Myself and others like me want to add two new letters to the fashionable “LGBTQIA+” acronym, namely “N”, for “Non-ageist”, and “P” for Princess. The “T” for “Transgender” is thankfully already included, acknowledging my sexual miss-identity, but there is currently no recognition for the age and title I would like recognition for.

My mental health would benefit if the acronym became “L-BANG-QTIP+”, and enshrouded in the legal enactment of a new Senate Bill protecting the right to be gendered and aged to my whims, and referred to by my preferred pronoun... which is “Lips” (Little Princess). If completed as requested, I promise not to off myself. But I’ll haul you up in front of a Human Rights tribunal for not complying. Cuz, well, the Canadian government’s mandate is to keep me from being offended by legally coercing everyone else.

It is easier these days for a boy to be named Sue than it was back in 1968, but let’s take it a step further. Thank you Wokeness!

Signed,

Fragile Sue.